Why I stopped looking at Facebook and other things

I am depressed. Seriously depressed, and I need to find the strength to start calling and getting help.

I stopped looking at and posting on  facebook without really realizing that is what I was doling.

Last fall, I blogged about someone who had been harassing me online, and that it had affected me more than it should have.Turned out it was someone that I didn't know,but then  a couple of times I posted on facebook about problems in our lives--and our lives are problematic, and someone I did know made comments.

So I stopped posting.

Part of the problem is that it is all too easy to retreat into isolation in this day and age.Too easy to not have real life face to face interaction with people, and so there is no one to tell you that they are worried about you as you become detached from life.

 So, here I am deeply depressed, and not really knowing how I let it go on this long--but then that is the thing about depression.

So, send me some good thoughts. I am working up the strength to start making phone calls and finding help--again.

It is not easy.

There is embarrassment and shame, and fear. SO MUCH FEAR.

Life is just hard, we are always struggling financially with no let up, and as blessed as we are we also live in fear. Is this the day they turn the gas off? Is this the week I can't afford groceries? Damn, my car tags are expired again.

The stress and shame has worn me out, and I need all of the encouragement I can get to find my way back to the world. 


So prayers, mojo,good thoughts please. I miss being a real person, and I feel so unreal right now.


Peace, I really need some.

EB


P.S. I dislike doing this but there is a paypal button over there just in case.My son and I are struggling, it is embarrassing and fearful to point it out.