Monday, January 17, 2011

Still Small Voice

If you follow my blog, you know that I am dealing with a winter season in my life. In the winter season we have time, opportunity and need to examine some very basic questions:who am I, why am I , and where am I going? The answers to these questions do not come easily for some of us. They require that we are able to get quiet and find the place in us where the only thing we can hear is the voice of our Creator. That voice is quiet, described so often as a still small voice. I think it is quiet so that we have to seek it and get quiet to find it. If we go looking for the voice of our Creator among the loud, cacophony that is passing as the voice of reason we will not find it. If the voice we hear is loud and angry it probably is not the voice of the Divine but rather the voice of what I think of as the "Other" If in our seeking we hear a loud voice telling us it is Okay to attack, or say bad things, or urges us to violence of any type, that is not the voice we should listen to. We have to learn to tune out that voice, to not allow it to have any place in our spirit. The voice we seek is a voice that sounds so sweet, so loving that we will more often than not weep with joy when we hear it.

When we are afraid, or emotionally charged, or angry it is so hard to hear the small voice. We need to learn how to let go of those fears and emotions, learn to forgive ourselves and others and move forward to that place in us that exists in such a way that only the voice of our Divine One fits. We must learn to abhor violence and to steer away from it. It is easier to get to that quiet place when there are not storms raging around us.

I remember the first time I heard the small voice. I was just a little girl, but I was in a position of great fear and danger. I had been sobbing, and ran out of energy to even continue crying, and so as I caught my breath I heard this voice that felt like it was all around me and  inside of me tell me to not be afraid, it would be alright very soon. The voice talked soothing things to me as I waited for rescue which did come soon. Not soon enough to save me from the violent act perpetrated, but it came, and I fell in love with that voice.

Now I know, some might think "How does a little girl KNOW that she is hearing Spirit speak to her? More likely she was imagining it." Well, you may think that, but I tell you I know that it was Spirit, and that I have been seeking and journeying pretty much since that first time according to the things that that voice tells me.

So, in this winter season of my life, I am doing my best to spend as much time as I can listening for the voice. For me,that means more time spent in prayer and meditation. Time spent trying to get my mind to shut up so I can hear what is going on in my spirit. This isn't always easy. I've noticed that since I can't work, I tend to wander around the house at times. You know, heading to the kitchen, then deciding to go to the bathroom, then stopping to pick up a magazine in the living room until I remember that I took the milk out of the fridge before I had to pee. My mind does that when I am trying to get centered to meditate and pray.Sometimes it feels like  I have to take myself by the hand and lead myself there.

So, I go back to the very basics, leading myself through the breathing exercises I learned many decades ago as if I were just learning them today.Breathe, in through the mouth one,two,three,four;out through the nose one, tow, three,four,five.In with the cleansing and strengthening power of the air. Out with the toxins of the day that tire us out. In with the oxygen that will energize each cell in our body. Out with the thoughts and poisons that clutter our minds. I am pretty sure Most High doesn't care how I get there, only that I get there. Thankfully my inner GPS still has the place marked. Now all I have to do is to remember to let the voice be my GPS for life's journeys.It's the only way I will get anywhere, since we all know I tend to wander.

Until next time,


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