Tuesday, May 28, 2013

I Cried This Morning

So, I had a good cry this morning. Now I am not a person who cries easily, in fact I rarely cry.Really, the thing that caused me to weep would not normally affect that that way. In fact, it was an inspirational quote posted on one of the facebook pages I follow, and I should have smiled, nodded and agreed with the sentiment, because it is a sentiment I have always believed in.

At any given moment you have the power to say "this is not how the story is going to end."~author unknown~

Now, this should not have made me cry, because it is right in line with everything I believe. Everything I try to share with others. But weep I did. Because this morning, in the midst of troubles and problems, it felt as if my story is ending badly and there is just no way for me to change it, and I hate that I feel that way.

I don't give in to despair often. Even though I struggle with depression and a host of other health issues, I tend to be the cockeyed optimist most of the time. Sharing and teaching those around me that we have choices, and that our truth is that we author our own story. And I believe that, I really do. So, it was totally out of character for me to cry in frustration this morning. But I did.

Surprisingly, it helped. No, it didn't change anything, I still am desperately struggling. I still have no grocery money, no money to take care of the bad situation with the car, no money to pay the electric bill...but crying actually helped. It doesn't make sense that crying helped, but I feel calmer now. Sometimes, you have to let go of the need for things to make sense and just accept the that you feel better after you had a good cry.I think the unexpected tears helped me to change my focus.
We sometimes get so focused on what we don't have, what we haven't accomplished, that we don't realize how blessed we really are, if we never get more than we have right now. Yes, I would love to have some money in the bank, and all of the bills paid instead of living paycheck to paycheck and juggling and afraid all of the time.But this is where I am and I choose to believe it is not the end of the story.Like everyone I have my moments,when I am in the midst of a life situation that involves suffering, it seems as if the suffering is all there is, we often can't see how we can possibly overcome what is causing us pain.I know, when in the midst of troubles, we are often at a loss as to how this could possibly turn out good, but we have the choice to believe that it will.
But, no matter what the problem is, there is a solution. It often takes a while to find it, and often it takes stepping outside of what we think we know about ourselves to see the way out, but once we find that way out we are onto the overcoming part, and learning that we can overcome whatever life throws at us is the most wonderful feeling. What freedom there is in knowing that yes, we will experience suffering, but where there is suffering there is always a way to overcome.
So I cried this morning and the tears did what they are designed to do. After crying, our breathing, and heart rate decrease, and we enter into a calmer biological and emotional state.Crying makes us feel better, even when a problem persists. In addition to physical detoxification, emotional tears heal the heart.

So, even though I don't see how to change the end of the story, even though it seems impossible today, I choose to believe that this is not how the story is going to end. I choose to remember that I have to power to believe that. My faith wavered, and I cried. Turns out crying is good for you. Now that I am calmer I can remember that at any given moment I have to power to choose how the story ends. I can remember that even when I am feeling most out of control,something as simple as releasing the fears by crying can help me change the end of the story.

Peace and Blessings
p.s. I dislike doing this but there is a paypal button over there, just in case. I told a friend who was embarrassed about asking for help that if we don't make our needs known how does anyone ever know we have needs. So, just as embarrassed, I am pointing out the button. Blessings.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

No Limits

The quote for the day is...
You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations in your own mind as to what you cannot do. Don't think you cannot. Think you can.~~Darwin P. Kingsley~~

Actually, when I read this I thought, well, I don't have to add anything, that pretty much sums it up. All too often, the limitations in our mind were placed there by other people. Those untruths that I often talk about us replacing. When we learn that other peoples opinions are not our truth, and erase those old tapes and replace those thoughts with the truth of who we are, there is no limit to what we can do. My doctor and I often talk about the limitations that people allow to be placed on themselves when they receive a diagnosis of a chronic illness. When we learn that there is no cure for what is ailing us, we often start behaving as if the disease defines what we can and can not do.

 We've met these people. Someone who feels that illness or the medication she was taking made it impossible to lose weight. My answer is always that it might make it more challenging, but nothing makes it impossible. If we start to believe that we have limitations, we stop attempting new things, and when we stop attempting new things we stop growing intellectually, emotionally, spiritually. And when we stop growing, then we start believing that there are things we can't do. So, for today, let your mind wander. Think of something you have always wanted to do but had let yourself believe that you couldn't do. Have you always wanted to learn another language? Find the local community college and sign up for a class. Have you always wanted to learn to rollerblade? Take yourself to the nearest skating rink and take a class. Knitting? Can do. Sing in the choir? Yes, you can. Take control of your thinking and start believing in yourself? No problem. There is nothing you can't do once you choose to. Ahh, you say, there she goes, that choice thing. Yes, of course, it is all in making the best choices you can. Do you want to stay OP today? CHOOSE to.Make the best choice available, choose to believe that 'can't never did anything', so never think you can not, because you know you can.

Peace and Blessings,

Friday, May 17, 2013

Keep Your Headlights clean

The quote for the day...

It’s like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.~~E.L. Doctorow~~

This quote made me think of traveling with my son. Because of his
particular personality, when we travel he has to know exactly where we are going, and how we are getting there, and any change of itinerary has to be handled very carefully, since order and consistency is how he deals with living in a world the doesn't understand. One of the life lessons that we work on with him is to be more open to flexibility. He is learning that sometimes the best laid plans don't always run true to the way you planned them, and detours are inevitable. Fortunately this lesson is reinforced daily as we live in a place where it seems they finish working on a stretch of highway only to go back and tear it up again.

Sometimes we are like my son. Any little detour in our plans can sideline us. Did we overindulge over a holiday, or at a tailgate party? Well, that does it, we are failures, and we throw in the towel. It can take months to get back on track. When the truth is that overindulging happens. Skinny people eat too much on certain occasions. it is not a character flaw, doesn't make us some kind of failure. Makes us human, and just like skinny people who compensate for overindulging by eating lighter for a day or two, we can get right back on track with the very next meal, the very next bite. Those of us with weight issues tend to be perfectionist, we tend to operate in an all or nothing mode. SO we are totally OP or we are just not going to try. Well, the truth is, if we are OP 75 to 80 percent of the time, we will in the long run, weigh less than we started out. I know this for a fact. In my weight loss journey I have had a gain fully 25 percent of the weeks I have weighed in. But those gains haven't kept me from moving towards my goals. So when it comes to weight loss, I think we need to realize, even though we can only see as far as the headlights are shining, we will make the whole trip that way, it will be fine, those headlights will lead us even though we don't know what is lurking past their range, we'll see soon enough. Taking it One day, one meal, one bite at a time!!

Peace and Blessings,

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

If I had hammer

Today's quote...

The secret of getting ahead is getting started."
'Planning a new and better life is certainly important, but it is only the beginning. An entire room filled with blueprints will not build a house. At some point, we have to pick up a hammer.' ~~Sally Berger~~

So, have you picked up your hammer yet? Have you read your blue prints and gathered the materials you need to start your project? Your most important project is taking care of you, Learning to make the best choices you can for your well being. Most of us have done part of that by joining Weight Watchers. Do you read the material you receive at meetings, or check out the wealth of information available on this website? Do you incorporate the blueprint to the program in your daily planning? Do you use the tools available to you? Follow the healthy guidelines, drink your water, get some exercise, journal, use portion control? have you picked up your tools and started to build a brighter healthier future for yourself, which then trickles down to a healthier future for you family, friends, co-workers in that the time you invest in taking care of yourself helps you to be better wives, mothers, daughters, friends, etc. If you haven't picked up those tools yet, what are you waiting for? Are you waiting for that mythical thing called motivation? Don't wait for the motivation, start using those tools, building your future and the motivation will come. Motivation is such a fickle thing anyway, leaving you just when you think you need it most. I prefer discipline and intention to motivation any day.

By discipline I mean doing the things we know we need to do. I do not need motivation to brush my teeth every day. I just need the discipline to do it. I do it because it has to be done, and I have made it a part of my routine, a habit. Staying OP has become a discipline for me again. I do it because it has to be done, and I have made it a habit.

By intention I mean that I start each day with the intention of staying on plan. I intend to make the best choices I can make one day, one meal, one bite at a time. Now I often will miss hitting that nail on the head every time. Sometimes I have to pull a nail and straighten it before I put if back. Sometimes I hit the nail wrong, and I have to discard it and reach for a new nail before proceeding. I do this with no shame, no regret, no guilt. Part of building a house includes a badly hit nail occasionally, that is just the nature of the project. So, it doesn't change the way I see the project at all. One nail at a time the house will get built. One day, one meal, one bite at a time, we will get closer to our healthiest self. Have you picked up your hammer yet today?

Peace and Blessings,


Thursday, May 9, 2013

I Can Do It

So, since most of my life is out of my control these days, and I am struggling in a lot of areas, I am trying to reclaim at least one thing that helps me feel in control. The truth is, that no matter what is happening, no matter that I can't climb out of my financial messes, no matter that I feel out of control there is one and only one area of life where I can exhibit total control and that is when, what, and how much I choose to eat. For some of us with weight issues that is a very liberating thought. It is for me anyway. I can't make the money I desperately need magically appear. I can't control many of the stressors in my life, but I can control how I react, and how I choose to eat, and that honestly helps me move towards a sense of control in other areas. Often when life is careening out of control, getting control over something helps.

So, I will probably be writing about weight loss issues more often than anything else for a while. Hey, at least I am attempting to write again...

We were all given the same amount of spirit. None more, none less. The difference between individuals is allowing the Spirit to have more of you.~~Bear Heart~~

Whenever you read a success story on a website, or in a magazine, the person who has reached their goal will usually say something like "If I can do it, anyone can do it." I know that when some of us read that they sometimes think that doesn't include them, but the truth is that not one of those people sharing their success story has more spirit, or drive, or motivation, or discipline than the rest of us. So, if I can do it you can do it, is actually true. BUT, first we have to give ourselves over to learning the truth about who we are, and discovering that we are a person of worth, and learning that we CAN do anything we set our minds to do. Yes, sometimes our challenges might be more than someone else, sometimes the obstacles in our way can be daunting. But inside each of us is that place where the truth has been replaced by untruths over the years, and we need to capture each one of those untruths and replace it with the truth .Takes work on our part sometimes, but every time we think a negative thought that we aren't worthy of the best in life we need to stop, ask ourselves if that is true, tell ourselves that it isn't true and replace it with a true thought.

Every time we hear in our head that we aren't smart enough, or good enough, or pretty enough, we need to say stop, that is not true, the truth is I am smart enough, I am good enough, I am beautiful. I am a person of great worth, and I deserve to treat myself well. It is a choice we can make, and when we believe that we deserve to treat ourselves well, we will make the best choices we can to become healthier in our mind, body, and spirit. When we become used to making the choices that make us the best we can be, then it will become easier to work towards our healthy bodies, because we are worth it!! Treat yourself well today, no one deserves it more.

Peace and Blessings,


Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Mindful Eating

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.~~Luciano Pavarotti~~

One of the reasons I have finally learned to keep my weight off is that after all these years I finally figured out something that you have heard me say before. It is never about not eating, it is about learning to eat well. I used to think, like most of us probably, that in order to lose weight I had to go on a diet and restrict myself, and deprive myself. Well, I could manage to do that for a while, but that is not something I could do forever. When I started WW this last time, over 5 years ago, I really paid attention, and figured out that I would have to learn to think about food differently.

So I started applying some of the principles I use in my spiritual journey to my relationship with food. One of the things that is important to me is being present, living in this moment. So I have tried to practice mindful eating. Mindful eating is for me to pay attention to what I am eating. To stop simply grabbing something. I don't think I am the only one who has gone to the kitchen and grabbed a handful of something without thinking, only to realize later that I ate the whole bag of Nutter Butters, or quart of Ben and Jerry's, or half a loaf cinnamon toast. So, I have learned to pay attention to what I am eating. To give my full attention to that moment. Why am I eating? Am I eating because I am hungry, or am I just bored, lonely, stressed, depressed. Am I using food for what it is intended for, or an I using food for something it was never meant to be. I can help myself do this by being faithful to journal. I journal before I eat something. I fix whatever I am going to eat, then I write it down, then I eat it. When I am faithful to this, it is so much easier to stay OP. When I give my attention to what I am eating, I eat better. Instead of just grabbing a handful of something, I prepare a snack, I make it something to delight my palate, I use the good china ever day, and I sit down at the table or in my sacred space, and give my attention to what I am eating. When I eat mindfully, I remember that the act of eating is part of this day, a day that will never come again, a day that I choose to live in every moment. Then eating becomes my focus for the moment, a choice not a habit, and I have given food it's proper place in my life.

In my spiritual life I attempt to be mindful of the presence of Creator in every moment. There is a traditional spiritual exercise called practicing the presence of God. This means recognizing that God is here now moving through our everyday activities, no matter how trivial they might seem. So that I am grateful for every moment, appreciating whatever activity I am present in. By learning to be present in the act of eating, and to appreciate the act of feeding my body, my mind, my spirit with what I have chosen to eat, I instinctively make better choices.And that is what it all boils down to, making the best choice we can for that moment. So, for today, I choose to do what Pavarotti suggests, give my attention to what I am eating, and if I am paying attention I will make better choices. Better choices is what I deserve, because I deserve the best. We all do.

Peace and Blessings,