Of Course You Can

Today's quote...
We were all given the same amount of spirit. None more, none less. The difference between individuals is allowing the Spirit to have more of you.~~Bear Heart~~

Whenever you read a weight loss success story on the internet, or in a magazine, the person who has reached their goal will usually say something like "If I can do it, anyone can do it." I know that when some of us read that they sometimes think that doesn't include them, but the truth is that not one of those people sharing their success story has more spirit, or drive, or motivation, or discipline than the rest of us. So, if I can do it you can do it, is actually true.

BUT, first we have to give ourselves over to learning the truth about who we are, and discovering that we are a person of worth, and learning that we CAN do anything we set our minds to do. Yes, sometimes our challenges might be more than someone else, sometimes the obstacles in our way can be daunting. But inside each of us is that place where the truth has been replaced by untruths over the years, and we need to capture each one of those untruths and replace it with the truth.
Takes work on our part sometimes, but every time we think a negative thought that we aren't worthy of the best in life we need to stop, ask ourselves if that is true, tell ourselves that it isn't true and replace it with a true thought.

Every time we hear in our head that we aren't smart enough, or good enough, or pretty enough, we need to say stop, that is not true, the truth is I am smart enough, I am good enough, I am beautiful. I am a person of great worth, and I deserve to treat myself well. It is a choice we can make, and when we believe that we deserve to treat ourselves well, we will make the best choices we can to become healthier in our mind, body, and spirit. When we become used to making the choices that make us the best we can be, then it will become easier to work towards our healthy bodies, because we are worth it!! Treat yourself well today, no one deserves it more.

Peace and Blessings,
EB


p.s. I am still a bit short on the money to fix my car, so if your spirit leads you there is a paypal button to the right. Forgive me for needing to mention it. 

No Limits

The quote for the day is...
You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations in your own mind as to what you cannot do. Don't think you cannot. Think you can.~~Darwin P. Kingsley~~

Actually, when I read this I thought, well, I don't have to add anything, that pretty much sums it up. All too often, the limitations in our mind were placed there by other people. Those untruths that I often talk about us replacing. When we learn that other peoples opinions are not our truth, and erase those old tapes and replace those thoughts with the truth of who we are, there is no limit to what we can do. My doctor and I often talk about the limitations that people allow to be placed on themselves when they receive a diagnosis of a chronic illness. When we learn that there is no cure for what is ailing us, we often start behaving as if the disease defines what we can and can not do.

 We've met these people. Someone who feels that illness or the medication she was taking made it impossible to lose weight. My answer is always that it might make it more challenging, but nothing makes it impossible. If we start to believe that we have limitations, we stop attempting new things, and when we stop attempting new things we stop growing intellectually, emotionally, spiritually. And when we stop growing, then we start believing that there are things we can't do. So, for today, let your mind wander. Think of something you have always wanted to do but had let yourself believe that you couldn't do. Have you always wanted to learn another language? Find the local community college and sign up for a class. Have you always wanted to learn to rollerblade? Take yourself to the nearest skating rink and take a class. Knitting? Can do. Sing in the choir? Yes, you can. Take control of your thinking and start believing in yourself? No problem. There is nothing you can't do once you choose to. Ahh, you say, there she goes, that choice thing. Yes, of course, it is all in making the best choices you can. Do you want to stay OP today? CHOOSE to.Make the best choice available, choose to believe that 'can't never did anything', so never think you can not, because you know you can.

Peace and Blessings,
EB

Keep Your Headlights clean

The quote for the day...

It’s like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.~~E.L. Doctorow~~

This quote made me think of traveling with my son. Because of his particular personality, when we travel he has to know exactly where we are going, and how we are getting there, and any change of itinerary has to be handled very carefully, since order and consistency is how he deals with living in a world the doesn't understand. One of the life lessons that we work on with him is to be more open to flexibility. He is learning that sometimes the best laid plans don't always run true to the way you planned them, and detours are inevitable. Fortunately this lesson is reinforced daily as we live in a place where it seems they finish working on a stretch of highway only to go back and tear it up again.

Sometimes we are like my son. Any little detour in our plans can sideline us. Did we overindulge over a holiday, or at a tailgate party? Well, that does it, we are failures, and we throw in the towel. It can take months to get back on track. When the truth is that overindulging happens. Skinny people eat too much on certain occasions. it is not a character flaw, doesn't make us some kind of failure. Makes us human, and just like skinny people who compensate for overindulging by eating lighter for a day or two, we can get right back on track with the very next meal, the very next bite. Those of us with weight issues tend to be perfectionist, we tend to operate in an all or nothing mode. SO we are totally OP or we are just not going to try. Well, the truth is, if we are OP 75 to 80 percent of the time, we will in the long run, weigh less than we started out. I know this for a fact. In my weight loss journey I have had a gain fully 25 percent of the weeks I have weighed in. But those gains haven't kept me from moving towards my goals. So when it comes to weight loss, I think we need to realize, even though we can only see as far as the headlights are shining, we will make the whole trip that way, it will be fine, those headlights will lead us even though we don't know what is lurking past their range, we'll see soon enough. Taking it One day, one meal, one bite at a time!!

Peace and Blessings,
EstherBelle

If I had hammer

Today's quote...

The secret of getting ahead is getting started."
'Planning a new and better life is certainly important, but it is only the beginning. An entire room filled with blueprints will not build a house. At some point, we have to pick up a hammer.' ~~Sally Berger~~

So, have you picked up your hammer yet? Have you read your blue prints and gathered the materials you need to start your project? Your most important project is taking care of you, Learning to make the best choices you can for your well being. Most of us have done part of that by joining Weight Watchers. Do you read the material you receive at meetings, or check out the wealth of information available on this website? Do you incorporate the blueprint to the program in your daily planning? Do you use the tools available to you? Follow the healthy guidelines, drink your water, get some exercise, journal, use portion control? have you picked up your tools and started to build a brighter healthier future for yourself, which then trickles down to a healthier future for you family, friends, co-workers in that the time you invest in taking care of yourself helps you to be better wives, mothers, daughters, friends, etc. If you haven't picked up those tools yet, what are you waiting for? Are you waiting for that mythical thing called motivation? Don't wait for the motivation, start using those tools, building your future and the motivation will come. Motivation is such a fickle thing anyway, leaving you just when you think you need it most. I prefer discipline and intention to motivation any day.

By discipline I mean doing the things we know we need to do. I do not need motivation to brush my teeth every day. I just need the discipline to do it. I do it because it has to be done, and I have made it a part of my routine, a habit. Staying OP has become a discipline for me again. I do it because it has to be done, and I have made it a habit.

By intention I mean that I start each day with the intention of staying on plan. I intend to make the best choices I can make one day, one meal, one bite at a time. Now I often will miss hitting that nail on the head every time. Sometimes I have to pull a nail and straighten it before I put if back. Sometimes I hit the nail wrong, and I have to discard it and reach for a new nail before proceeding. I do this with no shame, no regret, no guilt. Part of building a house includes a badly hit nail occasionally, that is just the nature of the project. So, it doesn't change the way I see the project at all. One nail at a time the house will get built. One day, one meal, one bite at a time, we will get closer to our healthiest self. Have you picked up your hammer yet today?

Peace and Blessings,

EB

Mindful Eating

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.~~Luciano Pavarotti~~

One of the reasons I have finally learned to keep my weight off is that after all these years I finally figured out something that you have heard me say before. It is never about not eating, it is about learning to eat well. I used to think, like most of us probably, that in order to lose weight I had to go on a diet and restrict myself, and deprive myself. Well, I could manage to do that for a while, but that is not something I could do forever. When I started WW this last time, over 5 years ago, I really paid attention, and figured out that I would have to learn to think about food differently.

So I started applying some of the principles I use in my spiritual journey to my relationship with food. One of the things that is important to me is being present, living in this moment. So I have tried to practice mindful eating. Mindful eating is for me to pay attention to what I am eating. To stop simply grabbing something. I don't think I am the only one who has gone to the kitchen and grabbed a handful of something without thinking, only to realize later that I ate the whole bag of Nutter Butters, or quart of Ben and Jerry's, or half a loaf cinnamon toast. So, I have learned to pay attention to what I am eating. To give my full attention to that moment. Why am I eating? Am I eating because I am hungry, or am I just bored, lonely, stressed, depressed. Am I using food for what it is intended for, or an I using food for something it was never meant to be. I can help myself do this by being faithful to journal. I journal before I eat something. I fix whatever I am going to eat, then I write it down, then I eat it. When I am faithful to this, it is so much easier to stay OP. When I give my attention to what I am eating, I eat better. Instead of just grabbing a handful of something, I prepare a snack, I make it something to delight my palate, I use the good china ever day, and I sit down at the table or in my sacred space, and give my attention to what I am eating. When I eat mindfully, I remember that the act of eating is part of this day, a day that will never come again, a day that I choose to live in every moment. Then eating becomes my focus for the moment, a choice not a habit, and I have given food it's proper place in my life.

In my spiritual life I attempt to be mindful of the presence of Creator in every moment. There is a traditional spiritual exercise called practicing the presence of God. This means recognizing that God is here now moving through our everyday activities, no matter how trivial they might seem. So that I am grateful for every moment, appreciating whatever activity I am present in. By learning to be present in the act of eating, and to appreciate the act of feeding my body, my mind, my spirit with what I have chosen to eat, I instinctively make better choices.And that is what it all boils down to, making the best choice we can for that moment. So, for today, I choose to do what Pavarotti suggests, give my attention to what I am eating, and if I am paying attention I will make better choices. Better choices is what I deserve, because I deserve the best. We all do.

Peace and Blessings,
EstherBelle

Halloween,oh my!!

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It was a beautiful sunrise here in the heartland. Because Daylight Savings time lasts longer this year I get an extra week of sunrise meditations. With the clock going back on Sunday, I may not get up early enough for sunrise for a while. I can't remember a Halloween with such nice weather. Usually it is cold and wet, a few years ago we got a huge snowstorm, still referred to as the October Surprise by weather forecasters around here. The trick or treaters will actually get to show off their costumes rather than hide them under winter coats this year. Halloween chills and thrills are fun for some, but for others it is simply the harbinger of a time of year fraught with difficulty. The holiday season draws nigh!!!! It is amazing isn't it how many emotions get stirred up in us as the holiday season draws near. There are those of us who had less than functional families growing up, and this time of year always seems to be a time when family dynamics can be trying at best, and downright dangerous in some instances. I remember the first Christmas stocking I ever had. I was a freshman in college, and in conversations with a new friend, it came out that we didn't have pleasant holidays in my family. I loved hearing the stories told by my friend Lizzie of the traditions of her family. Christmas stockings were important to her family, so much so that her stocking was being sent to her to hang in her dorm room before she took it home with her for Christmas. When the package came, there were two stockings. The one she had treasured all of her life, and a brand new one for me. As alien as the concept of loving family was to me, the concept of a non loving family was even more alien to her, and she had asked her family to make me a stocking. I visited her home several times over four years of college. Stopped off at her parents house a few times in my travels as an adult. I will always remember that they taught me about Christmas. So when I became a mother, I purposed in my heart to create traditions for my son. There was just the two of us for the first 12 years of his life, and we created wonderful traditions. Then I met my husband, and we  adapted some of our traditions into family traditions. We have pizza on Christmas Eve because I was too tired from working at the store to cook, so my son is in charge of Christmas Eve. He cooks the pizza and serves us. While I am at work he bakes 2 batches of cookies. One batch is a recipe he has baked every year since middle school, and then he combs the holiday magazines for a new recipe to try. Christmas morning my son opens presents, there usually aren't any for the 'grownups' we spend the money on my son. I fix biscuits and gravy for breakfast, and we go to the movies in the afternoon.We come home and have our dinner, ham and wild rice dressing. I am not sure how that came to be our tradition, but it has been since my son was small. Traditions can be created where there were none. Traditions can be changed when the original traditions no longer fit, traditions can be thrown out the window when they simply aren't good for us to continue them. We can choose to make healthier traditions. Do we usually cook too many things that are tempting? Try new recipes. Yes, stick to those one or tow things that you have to have, but honestly, we all cook things that no one will miss. Think about what goes into the fridge as leftovers. Maybe that's a dish that can be changed. Not only can we change the things we cook, but if there are issues that come up for us in this emotional time of year, we can change how we think about them. If there are expectations from others that aren't in our best interest, we can choose to not feel like we are letting someone down. Our well being is our concern, and we are not dishonoring anyone, or disrespecting anyone when we choose to honor our needs and respect our choices. Choose to take care of you! YOU are then better able to take care of the ones you love. Do something spectacular for yourself today, choose to not let the candy dishes take control. Choose to be in control of what you eat. Peace and Blessings, EstherBelle

Just a Big Ol' Girl

When I was growing up it wasn't a given that little girls would go to college and become anything they wanted to be.My father, in fact, forbid me to go to college. But, I couldn't remember a time when I didn't know that learning was my way out of a bad place.So, I schemed, and I worked out a way to get to college. See, my father was from a time when girls got married and had babies, he couldn't IMAGINE a world where girls didn't have a baby until they were in their 30's, or didn't get married until they were almost 50. But, I could.Other people's imaginations have nothing to do with your reality!


Sometimes I am my own worst enemy, we all can probably lay claim to that. I look at my circumstances, and I get frightened. I fail to see what others see in me, and so I occasionally need reminders that my reality is mine, and that even though things are hard right now, they won't always be this hard.


One of my issues is weight. Now I am just a 'big ol' girl'- as one of my four year old friends once described me. It's OK to be a 'big ol' girl' as long as you are working on being healthy. I am never going to be my cute little sister (oy, I can feel the email coming!) for one thing I am nearly a foot taller than her. For another, I have always been overweight, always. It is as much a part of me as my size 12 feet, my eyes that change color, and my blue fingernails-oh wait the fingernails is another story!


I do not have a major problem with my size, which I think you might have figured out from the title of my blog. I eat well, I exercise as much as I can, and I try to take care of myself. YES, I have some serious health issues, but not ONE of them was caused by my weight struggles.

I was thin one day in my life. It was June 28, 19mumble-mumble.The day I was born I weighed 5 lbs. 2 ozs, and was 23 inches long. A tall, s-k-i-n-n-y baby girl. My baby book lists my weight at my 3 week check-up as 15 lbs. APPARENTLY I got born and discovered that there are truly calories in the air just waiting for me to breath them in.

I have always been the Giant economy size in a trial sized world. Not an easy task as a child, but I got better at it as time goes by. I had to suffer through the well meaning mistakes of parents, friends, even doctors before I was able to decide things on my own. I remember being put on a diet at 6 years old. The doctor prescribed diet pills, which back in the 50's were as we all know,pure speed, methamphetamine. They didn't work, I stayed larger than the average child, but was very likely helped towards my abuse of drugs and alcohol a few years later.

Back in the 50's kids like me were an anomaly. I really was THE fat girl in my elementary school days. I was a giant compared to all of the other little girls, and there were some Moms in the neighborhood who would not allow their children to play with me. I was this freak of nature, and they were afraid that their kids would get hurt. I have forgiven them. My dad decided that vigorous exercise was not good for me, he was truly afraid that I might have a heart attack or something. Amazing the things that we didn't know then. My dad was honestly trying to protect me.

We have learned so much about nutrition and healthy eating since then. I remember seeing a Cook book from the late 1950's. In it was a chapter on dieting. It said you must never let the dieter feel full or satisfied. Honest, that is what it said. Apparently those of us with the genetic make-up to gain weight easier must be punished. Thankfully we have come far since then. Now we know that it is never about NOT eating, it is about learning to eat well, to come into a healthy relationship with food, and exercise to keep our bodies as healthy as we can.

So yesterday I went to my Weight Watchers  meeting. Now I am a long time Weight Watchers member, have lost over 150 pounds with the WW program and recommend it highly.You should feel free to look into it if you wish. I participated in the Weight Watchers 5K on Sunday, and posted here about that. So yesterday at our meeting, exercise was the topic.Actually the excuses we all use to not exercise was the topic. Towards the end of the meeting, my leader, the amazing Jenny, asked me to speak about my health challenges and why I thought participating was so important to me. Now, I am NEVER shy about speaking in public. [if you need a  motivational speaker, let me know!!] so I shared a bit. 

As the meeting ended and I  made my way to my car, several members stopped me and thanked me. They told me I was an inspiration. "Thank you," I said, "but I am just a fat lady with a walker." It is humbling to be told that your struggles inspire someone else.I have had a chance to think about what they said to me, and isn't that what a storyteller does? So, thank you, if I can inspire you to think about getting healthier along with me I am grateful.If I can help you realize that your reality is not limited by anyone else's opinion, or anyone's imagination but your own, then I am truly thankful. Life is one choice after another, and if sharing some of my choices, the good, the bad, the ugly, inspires someone else to think about the choices they are making, then I have the inspiration I need to continue sharing. I hope I can help you imagine a world where you are all you want to be.

This is me and my WW leader, the amazing Jenny at last year's WW5K walk. She truly inspires me, and I thank her for that often!!

Peace and Blessings,

The Fat Lady!

The Angel in the Marble

Several years ago I started a daily thread on the Weight Watchers message boards. About that time, sitting on my desk was a daily quote calendar. So, I began a habit of using the quote as a springboard for a daily essay relating to life's struggles. My husband, Mr. Bill, began encouraging me to put my thoughts together in a book. When he was killed I had about half a book written. I started this blog, in part, to get back into the habit of writing so that I might be able to finish the book. Along the way,I will write new things, as well as share excerpts from the things I wrote before I lost Mr. Bill. This was his favorite piece...

 

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.~~Michelangelo~~

 

Sometimes I see a quote and I know it has to do with the journey that we are all on. That journey towards being healthier in body, mind and spirit. I saw this quote this morning and passed it by, then  Spirit told me to go back.So as I looked at these words I saw that this is exactly what our journey is all about. Just as Michelangelo could look at a hunk of marble and see the angel inside, we must learn to look at ourselves and see the incredible, beautiful, capable woman inside and care and chip away at all of the untruths and detritus that keeps her from being free. There is much to chip away. We can't learn to be our authentic selves until we learn that who we are has nothing to do with who we think others expect us to be. We must learn to recognize the 'angel' in our block of marble, and sometimes it takes us a while to recognize her, because she doesn't look like who society, or our parents, or our husbands, or our friends expect. She doesn't look like who we expect because we have gotten our truths all mixed up with the untruths that we need to chip away.  So as we travel this journey, we must learn to chip away at the expectations of others. We must learn to carve our truth out no matter what untruths we have to toss into the trash bin. Sometimes it will seem easier to leave our 'angel' in the block of marble. After all, chipping away the detritus we have learned may cause us pain, it may cause others pain as we move away from their picture of what we should be. But take my word for it, life is not pain free, and the pain of leaving her locked inside the block of marble is worse than any pain you can imagine. So today I ask you to choose to learn to see the 'angel' in your marble. Choose to starting carving and chipping away at the things that imprison her there, the things that imprison your spirit, the things that have held you captive all too long. Choose today to start or continue the process of setting you free.You are worth the effort it will take, you deserve to find the work of art that you truly are.

 

Peace and Blessings,

EstherBelle

 

Juggling

As we move from summer into fall, we are moving into a different rhythm of life. Those with school age children are getting into the juggling of schedules for school and homework and activities. It seems that life revolves around the children's world, and we just don't have enough hours in the day to get everyone where they need to be. Dance, tumbling, sports, parent teacher meetings, open houses take up our evenings. The mornings are a rush of getting everyone up and out the door, decent and fed and ready for the day. Those who work outside the home are off to the job, stay-at-home moms are working too.Now we add the holiday season! Seems as if the to-do list just grew exponentially, and the time, well that shrunk exponentially. It all revolves around the family. That family may be mom and dad and one or more children, or may be just mom and a child or two. No matter what the family looks like it is a family, and it is the sun that our planets revolve around.

So, there we are juggling as fast as we can to keep all of the balls in the air. Oh, wait, there is a ball sitting on the floor, not being tossed in the mix. Which ball is that? Oh, yeah, it's the ball that represents the time to care for ourselves. Well, that's just not as important, we think, all these other balls are higher priority. We're wrong of course. That ball sitting there on the floor should be our highest priority. Taking care of ourselves should be job one. BUT, we start, The kids, the husband, they have all of these needs. I just don't have time.

So, we keep juggling, and we get so tired, and we get kind of frustrated and resentful, and we get burned out. Oh, we sigh, what is the answer? The answer is that we need to pick up that ball from the floor first. We need to find time to take care of our needs, and as my son so eloquently says "Time to refresh your soul". But how? Well, just like every part of our journeys, it starts with one step. The first step is to find time to just breathe.Time to find a few minutes to sit still, and fill our lungs with the gift of the wind. It is time to find a place that is just for us. Doesn't have to be a big space, can be just a chair in the corner of the bedroom, or a place on the deck. Any place that we can claim for our needs. It needs to be quiet and comfortable. Place an item or two that please you next to the chair. I have a knick-knack that represents a mother sitting in a rocker. It was a gift from our son and Mr. Bill about 10 years ago. I have a worry stone that Mr. Bill bought me on our family honeymoon trip to the Black Hills. 

So, once we have claimed our space all we need is a bit of time. If we are claiming a few minutes at the end of the day, we might start by making a cup of tea. Use the time while heating the water and brewing the tea to start claiming the time as your own. Telling yourself that this time is sacred. This time is for you! Now you have your cup of tea, my favorite is chamomile, since it helps me relax and sleep better. I sit down with my cup of tea, and breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. As I breathe in slowly, deeply, I draw in strength. As I breathe out slowly and fully I let go of the stresses and tensions of the day. Breathe in strength, breathe out the toxins of stress. Now I can sip my tea for a moment and pay attention to my breathing again. Breathe in, breathe out. Each inhalation and exhalation can become a prayer. This is why I say for me to breathe is to pray. As I take a long slow deep breath, I breath in the wind, which is the Spirit, and allow Spirit to bless me and refresh my body and soul. As I breathe in I express my gratitude for the day. As I breathe out I pray a blessing for someone I love. All of this in a few minutes at the end of the day. A perfect building block, a brick to build on as you start to take care of you. Taking care of you is the most unselfish act you will perform because as you take care of you, you become more able to take care of the others who depend on you. You become a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, and you have placed a brick on the pathway for your journey.

Choose to Hope

The quote for today is...
There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown hopeless about them.~~Clare Booth Luce

Now, the definition of hope as a noun includes-desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment, but turn hope into a verb, an action word and  that definition becomes-to cherish a desire with anticipation. So when do we slip from having hope, having a desire that we believe will be fulfilled, from cherishing that desire, to a place of hopelessness,having no expectation of good or success,incapable of solution, management, or accomplishment? I think we slip into that place when we forget that hope is an action word. When we forget that to have hope should include cherishing that desire enough to do the things that we need to do to bring about the outcomes that we are desiring. We let go of hoping when we start to believe the untrue things we hear from people around us, or replaying the old tapes in our heads that tell us we are not good enough, or worthy of accomplishing our dreams and desires. As Ms. Luce reminds us, there are no hopeless situations, only those of us who have given away our hopefulness.

 

Whatever you are dreaming of, be that working towards a healthier lifestyle, or going back to school, or letting go of a destructive habit, there is always hope. But you have to remember that hope is an action word, and that if you perform the action of hope, you will be taking the steps toward reaching the desires of your heart. Doesn't matter how big or small those steps are, it only matters that you continue to take those steps.Now some of those steps you will have to take over and over, but that's OK. Every step you take is a step away from where you used to be. If you have to take a step over, you are never taking that step from the same place you took it the first time. So, for today have hope. Have hope and take a step, any step toward making that hope a reality. The first step is to stop listening to anyone who tells you that you can't achieve the things you are hoping for. Stop believing that you do not deserve to hope for success. Stop believing that, especially if you are the one telling yourself that. Have hope, take a step, you deserve to cherish your desires, and if you don't no one else will.