perspective--little things that are big things

You know, sometimes you can get so caught up in the stresses of life that you miss the little things that are a reminder that you are truly blessed. 

Yes, life is difficult sometimes. You get behind and there is just no way to ever get caught back up. Honestly, for many of us, we no longer have hopes or dreams of getting ahead, it's breaking even that stays just out of our reach, and wears you down. BUT, even in the midst of that, it seems there is always something that will bring you back to the reality that life is a good thing.

I admit I have been struggling with depression again. It's just hard to be behind all of the time, and every now and then I give in to wallowing. 

But the good thing is I know I have good friends,and I hope I have value to the world. 

So, you go along wallowing and then the littlest thing can make you snap to.

My son is autistic. He has never said the words I Love You to me. But, he does things that let me know. At my  infant sons christening I asked Most High to help me make sure that my son would experience the magic of childhood. The answer was the gift of autism. The most amazing blend of special needs, genius, and faith that is my son. My son believes that God will always provide, and that whenever we meet a challenge, Mom can find the answer. My son trusts me to help him learn to navigate a world he has trouble understanding.

But, even knowing all of that, sometimes I just wish he could tell me he loves me. AND THEN, he does.

Well, he doesn't use words. He does things like bake cookies, or carry all of the groceries in from the car, or opens a tight jar lid. Or the one I noticed recently is the TV.

 I only watch one show that he doesn't watch, and I admit, I always have to ask him what channel somethings on if I am the one with their remote in my hand. But, the last couple of weeks, as I get ready to watch TV on Monday night (yes, I admit to loving dancing With the Stars) I have noticed that no matter what channel we were watching earlier in the day the TV is already on the correct channel for my show. It is such a tiny little thing, but it shows me my son cares. He loves me. 

Well, either that or he doesn't want to hear me ask "What channel number is ABC."I am choosing to believe he loves me. It's the perspective I embrace today.

Peace and Blessings,
EB

p.s. I dislike doing this but there is a paypal button over there, just in case. I told a friend who was embarrassed about asking for help that if we don't make our needs known how does anyone ever know we have needs. So, just as embarrassed, I am pointing out the button. Blessings.

gas prices and a reason to smile

So, we filled up the gas tank Friday. We haven't filled up in a while, mainly we tend to get a few dollars worth when we have to.Fortunately (or unfortunately) we don't get out much and so we manage to keep from running out of gas--by the skin of our teeth some months.

 Friday we had to have gas, the low gas light came on, and we had planned on the gas station as one of our errands anyway. We have a fuel rewards card from the grocery store we shop regularly,and we had been watching the gauge and the prices--because truthfully, it often seems if we need gas and we stop to get some the next time we are out the price has dropped...or if we decide to wait until the next errand day, the price has gone up. Its all futile, gas is one of those things you have to buy--no matter what the price is or how far behind you are on your other bills.

BUT, this time, we got lucky, we had a good amount on our fuel saver card, and it was payday, and the price had gone down a couple of pennies.

Now, I don't pump gas--that is my sons job,and he is very methodical about it. The last thing he says before starting to pump is "I have to ask, how much." Then I usually give him a dollar amount and he is always right on the penny.

Friday, with the reasonable prices and the discount I debated, and told him to go ahead and fill it up. He chuckled and said "You now what that means."

The young man in the pick-up next to us overheard our conversation and asked "What does it mean?"

"Well, it often means with our luck the prices will go down." I answered. "But we don't use a lot of gas, so it is a chance we have to take." Then while my son pumped gas, this young man and I had a nice chat about the weather, and weekend sports.

He finished filling his pick-up, and as he was getting in the car said "Enjoy the nice weather, and thanks for filling up. I drive over 200 miles a day in my job, and if you filling up causes the price to go down, I will be grateful. I'll think of you next time I get gas."

Now there are several things to enjoy about the conversation. First, I don't get to chat with strangers all that often,  I don't get out much. Second, how nice that the next time this young man gets gas he will think of me when he looks at the price, and for some reason that makes me smile.

Connecting with other human beings-even if just for a moment at the gas station-is always a great way to enjoy the day!

Peace and Blessings,
EB


p.s. I dislike doing this but there is a paypal button over there, just in case. I told a friend who was embarrassed about asking for help that if we don't make our needs known how does anyone ever know we have needs. So, just as embarrassed, I am pointing out the button. Blessings.