Monday, January 27, 2014

It's just a word...

...or so I thought.

So, Monday morning is my weigh in day. Hey, all dieting efforts start on Monday's--it's a law, right?

This morning, I lost 1.25 pounds--and that is my 53rd weekly weigh in in a row with a loss. I have no idea who this body belongs too, but she ain't getting it back! Actually, I've kind of figured out that being post menopausal has been good for my weigh loss efforts. I no longer have hormonal gains every 3 or 4 weeks, and it really is nice to think that being an old crone has benefits!

So, anyway, here i am working hard to deal with my weight, and it is working! I am glad something in my life is working, it might s well be my weight loss efforts.

Now, I have been overweight since I was a few days old. My stature has always been that of one of those few who are genetically programmed to gain weight easily and hold onto it. Truthfully, we are the reason the species survived the cave man days. In paleolithic times we seem to have been venerated--and there are wonderful little statues that look just like me.

So imagine my surprise, when I got excited over my weight--and more specifically my BMI-this morning. Now I really don't put much stock in the BMI as a rule of thumb for what we should weight. AND, my goal weigh is well outside of the BMI parameters. But, there are lots of different ways to measure what a healthy weight is, so why did I look at a BMI chart this week?

Well, on one of the forums I take part in a woman was asking about her BMI-so I looked at the charts so I could make sure I was giving accurate information. Casually, while checking her BMI, I input my height and weight, and I'll be darned it caught my attention. If I lost a half a pound this week I would move from OBESE to OVERWEIGHT.

Now, when I saw that, it made me think, really this is why I don't care much for charts. A half a pound would make a difference in whether I was OBESE or OVERWEIGHT--seriously? Who came up with this stupid plan? My doctor and I have set a goal weight for me, and I am 4.5 pounds away from it. We think it makes a lot of sense, considering my history, my health, and other factors-such as my waist to height ratio, etc. But, if I went to another doctor, last week he or she would have described me as OBESE, this week as OVERWEIGHT, based on some arbitrary number on a scale and some arbitrary chart.

Now, I truly believe a scale is just a tool that we use in measuring our journey. We are not the numbers on a scale, and should not measure our worth based on those numbers, since a scale is a mechanical device that can be wrong.Fortunately,my success is not based on the numbers on a scale. I will not be successful at dealing with my weight issues just because I reach some 'mythical' goal weight. I will be a success at this issue of dealing with my wieght when I have learned to be faithful to making the healthiest choices I can make every day.I will be successful at this weight thing when I have learned to UNLEARN the things that cause me to use food in unhealthy inappropriate ways. I will never be successful if I think this journey is about NOT eating when in fact learning to eat well, faithfully, day after day, is the goal I should be pursuing.I truly believe this.

BUT, I will admit that when i weighed in this morning and saw that number, knowing that it changed one word in my life touched some part of me i didn't know was there. SO, it just goes to show that you are never to old to learn something about yourself!!

That, and  whether I am OBESE or merely OVERWEIGHT...
 I am still a goddess!

Woman of Willendorf


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