The Balm Dealio!!

So, the other day on a message board I visit, someone called out to tell me "Can I just say that you rock?" I really hadn't done anything special, just share some thoughts, but this person appreciated them enough to let me know. I thanked her nicely, and said "Kind words are a balm." Which prompted the phrase "The Balm Dealio" from another poster. All very life affirming, and for someone who is struggling with so much-health, finances, etc.-a welcome balm.

A balm is usually defined as a fragrant ointment or preparation used to heal or soothe the skin. But, so many times our healing needs are more than skin deep, and so it seems to me, that words-which can reach our mind and spirit can indeed be used as a balm. In this day and age where all too many feel the need to use negative words, it is always a welcome balm to receive positive thoughts.

Today's quote...
The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.
--William James

Everyone has this need. No matter what we do we need someone to notice. We don't need some big parade (but wouldn't that be fun) we don't need to win awards (but there is a space on the shelf for them) we don't need billboards on the highway. We just need someone to say they noticed, or say thank you once in a while. The best way to attract this to your life is to practice this with others. Try it, you will be amazed at the response you get. If a coworker does something for you, say thank you, I appreciate that. If you are standing in the line at the grocery store and you see someone wearing a fabulous pin, say something. I guarantee you will receive a smile in return, and someone will say thank you to you.They may just say Thank you, but what they will really mean is thank you for noticing, thank you for appreciating my taste in jewelry. It will make them feel better, and you will feel appreciated in return. Most importantly, look in the mirror and say thank you to yourself. Appreciate who you are. Appreciate the choices you are making to become healthier. Appreciate the choices you are learning to make to become stronger. Appreciate that there isn't another person on the earth like you . You are unique. Unique in your experiences, unique in your talents, unique in your infinite possibilities. Appreciate that. Say thank you to yourself by making the best choices you can in this moment. Do something spectacular for yourself, no one deserves it more.

So to everyone who reads my thoughts, I appreciate you more than you can know. You are my rock stars, and THAT is indeed the Balm Dealio!!!

Peace and Blessings,

EB

Overheard

My son is in his room, playing video games, and apparently has hit a difficult level. So, what do I hear from him? Do I hear "I'll never get this" or "I screwed up" or "This is too hard"?

NOPE.

I hear, "I am capable." Then I hear "I can do this, I am capable".

Isn't this a great lesson for life?

When things don't go the way we planned, instead of throwing up our hands and getting defeated we should always remember "I am capable".

If we are working on a problem, and encounter an obstacle we should always remember "I can do this. I am capable".

No matter what is happening in your life today, remember to remind yourself often...

I AM CAPABLE!!!



 

Dear Mother Nature...

...It's March 24, and I sit at the patio door watching snowflakes. Seriously? Girlfriend, we need to talk. Your behavior is worrisome. But, you know what, that's OK. No one knows better than me that it won't always be like this. In my mind, as I sit at the patio door, listening to the morningsong of the birds it is always sunny and glorious on March 24th. So, there! You might as well straighten up and let spring come, because you can't take spring out of my memories!!

This is what March 24 looks like...

It was a beautiful day. The kind of spring day that we wish they all could be. Bright sunshine, about 60 degrees. I had been to a meeting and after my friend dropped me off I remembered that William needed something for school the next day. It was the perfect day for a walk, so I decided I would walk to the neighborhood store. As I was walking down the street I looked up and this tall thin man was cutting across the street diagonally. He was going to end right in front of me. My mind immediately started searching for a reason, but this was not someone I knew. He walked up to me and said "I have been trying to get up the nerve to talk to you for six months. You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." I laughed. It definitely was not a pick up line I had ever heard before. But when I laughed I saw his eyes, and he meant it! "Excuse me?" was all I could say. He said it again, "I've been trying to get up the nerve to talk to you. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." I am still kind of speechless, and I say "Thank you, I guess." He goes on to explain that he lives at the bottom of the hill and he sees me walk my son to the school bus every day. He has tried a couple of times to speak to me, but he was too nervous. But when he saw me walking down the street today he told himself it was now or never, and he crossed the street. I was prepared to continue walking, but he kept talking. He told me how he had just got out of rehab 4 days earlier, and that he was on his way home from putting in job applications. Well, I had been clean and sober for 16 years and the friend of Bill W. in me wouldn't let me just ignore him. I told him I had to go to the store, but if he was still in the park at the end of the street when I got back I would talk to him. He was there, we talked for 2 hours that afternoon, and every day after that.

Such a simple act, crossing the street. No big deal. But in that simple act of walking across the street the world would never be the same. In that moment our lives became eternally joined, entwined. We would never again make a decision without discussing it or considering the impact it would have on the other one.We would never again think of ourselves as Bill or EstherBelle. From that moment on we were BillandEstherBelle.

So, give it up, girlfriend, it's sunny and glorious in my heart. In Springtime love is carried on the breeze--even if it's accompanied by a snowflake or two!!

Signs of Spring

So, it's the first day of spring. Surprisingly, the weather is spring like (yes, the 's' word is in the forecast on Monday-nut it could change) with 68 degrees and a bit windy. It's about time. It has felt like Narnia around here-and that may be part of why I was busy having a pity- party of one this morning. I'm behind on the gas and electric, because as my son has suggested we think Mother Nature has probably invested her retirement funds in utilities and is gleeful at the huge bills we have racked up this winter.

But, anyway, I was sitting in my kitchen feeling very sorry for myself. It's hard being stressed over things sometimes. So, there i am-having mopped the kitchen, and opening the patio door to let the fresh air in-sitting, feeling decidedly sorry for myself when I look up and see a teeny-tiny little spring miracle.

I have an orange tree in my kitchen. I have been really worried about it living through the winter, the former upstairs neighbors drenched it with bleach water last year,and it looks pretty dead. It is the orange tree my son grew from a seed, so I have kept watering it, watching the branches die, and the few remaining leaves fall. I'm kind of stubborn that way. I honestly felt it was a losing cause, but this is my son's orange tree that should not have grown from that seed anyway.

So, sitting there, feeling sorry for myself, and I look at the tree. The mostly dead, sad looking tree. and there amid the dead branches I see it, new growth. Teeny tiny new leaves, 6 sets in all.

So, thank you universe for adjusting my attitude. I am still worried about money, still worried about a lot of things, but Spring has SPRUNG!!! New leaves have grown, our orange tree hasn't given up yet--and so I guess neither will I.

So, even if it snows on Monday (or like last year in May) I choose to believe in the signs of Spring!!

I Don't Eat Kale...

..I know you're shocked, right? Seeing as how I am a vegetarian and I've lost 265 pounds and everything and it's supposed to be some magic food and all. But, I don't like it, so I don't eat it. Besides, it's not anymore more magic than any other food. NOW, toss some collards, mustard, or turnip greens in a pot and see me line up for seconds. When the Swiss Chard is in season ask me for my favorite recipe. But, I like those equally healthy greens so I eat them.I don't eat celery either. It's nasty. I don't make slimy things out of chia seeds, and I don't 'detox' my body with a juice fast. I know people who do,and whatever works for them is fine with me, but stop telling other people that this is what they HAVE to do.

Here's something else...I don't drink much water. A little when I take my medication.  I certainly don't drink half my weight in ounces every day, and I still manage to remain well hydrated and healthy.Of course I do drink a pot of coffee, and half gallon of tea and I eat lots of water rich fruits and veggies.

While I'm at it, let me address some other things I have seen people say recently...

Don't eat carbs after 2 p.m. your body immediately stores them as fat. UM, no, that isn't even how your body works. Your body doesn't really care whether you ate at 2 or midnight. Oh, yeah, I eat at midnight. Often I eat cinnamon toast as a bedtime snack. The only peer reviewed scientific study about eating carbs at night showed that the men they studied lost more weight while eating most of their calories and carbs at night.

Avoid all white food. OK, we know how I feel about food. Food is NOT the enemy. No matter what color it is.

Eat this, don't eat that, only eat at certain times. Oh, and take this magic pill, or that magic potion.

So, here is my advice...

Relax, learn to eat well. Give food it's proper place in your life-food is fuel and nutrition, but it is also meant to be enjoyed. Remember, the only thing in your life you are in total control of is what, when and how much you choose to eat.

Oh, and don't eat what you don't like no matter how good it is supposed to be for you.

Oh and when I weighed in this week this happened...
GOOOAAALLLLLLL!!

 

Never too old to learn

The quote for today...

Youth is the time for the adventure of the body, but age for the triumphs of the mind.~~Logan Pearsall Smith~~

As I contemplate the obstacles and challenges of late middle age, and my mobility has become an issue, I take great pleasure in this quote. I did have amazing adventures in my youth that required me to be physically able. I have done everything I ever wanted to do, been places that I never dreamed I would go. I may not be as able to do things physically, but my mind has never stopped taking me on adventures. As I continue in my journey, it is my mind and spirit that allow me to rise above a body racked with pain and disease and continue to soar and grow and experience. It is my mind and spirit that keep me studying and learning and growing in my journey. The triumph of age is that we are never to old to learn, to seek new adventures of spirit, no matter what is happening with our physical bodies. So, it is important that we take the best care we can of ourselves. Make the healthiest choices we can everyday, so that we can continue in our journey, meeting the challenges of our physical needs in such a way that we will be able to live triumphantly!!

Well, that's what I'm telling myself anyway!!

Peace and Blessings,
EB

It takes a while

So, sometimes when we change things about ourselves, it takes a while for it to soak in to our mind.

I have been sharing about my weight loss. My last post was about my realizing that I had an emotional reaction to the words obese and overweight. I surprised myself. I love when I learn something new about myself.


We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right.~~Marianne Williamson~~

If I were to focus on what's wrong in my life, I would never get out of the bed, in fact, I might be tempted to just end it all! But, there is so much more that is right, that when I focus on that it overrides any pesky little problem. Changing our perception is where the secret lies. If we grew up believing that there was something wrong with us, we have to unlearn  that and replace those thoughts.

It may be hard to believe, but when I look in the mirror I rarely see a difference...no matter how much I weigh or whether I have gained or lost weight. I just don't see much of a difference. Perception is often reality.

Now, even when I weighed 490 pounds, my perception of myself was not negative. I have never considered myself any more or less attractive based on my size. I was blessed to have a great teacher when I was a child that taught me that my self-esteem is not based on my size. I firmly believe that we are not the nu8mbers on a scale and should not measure our worth based on those numbers or the numbers on a clothing tag, I am human and use those numbers as a tool to gauge where I am in my journey. Especially since when I look in a mirror I just don't see me differently.

I am nearing my goal weight. Then of course the real work starts-maintaining that weight and not having to lose this all again. I wish I had learned that lesson 50 years ago!

I will not be successful at dealing with my weight issues because I reach some 'mythical' goal weight. I will be a success when I have learned to be faithful to making the healthiest choices I can make every day. When I have learned to UNLEARN the things that cause me to use food in unhealthy, inappropriate ways.I was never successful in the past because like most of us, I believed the wrong things. When I thought this journey was about NOT eating-when in fact it is about learning to eat well, day after day.

Like I said, it takes a while. But, boy is it ever worth it!

Peace and Blessings,
EB






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